Gardening God's Way

I just got this in my e-mail and loved it and thought I'd share it.

Gardening God's Way

Plant three rows of peas:

Peace of mind - Romans 14:5

Peace of heart - Acts 15:9

Peace of soul - 1 Peter 1:22

Plant four rows of squash:

Squash gossip - Lev 19:16

Squash selfishness - Luke 18:11-14

Squash grumbling - John 6:43, James 5:9

Squash indifference - Mark 14:32 - 41

Plant five rows of lettuce:

Lettuce be kind - 1 Peter 2:1-3

Lettuce be faithful - Dan 3:16-18

Lettuce be obedient - 1 John 3:22

Lettuce love one another - John 3:16

Lettuce financially support our church - Mal 3:6-12

No garden can be without turnips:

Turnip for service - Acts 3:1

Turnip for meetings - Heb 10:25

Turnip to help one another - Rom 12:13

We must have Thyme:

Thyme for God - Psalm 3:1-8

Thyme for prayer - Psalm 54:4

Thyme for each other - John 15:12-14

Thyme for Bible study - Ezra 7-10

Author Unknown

Friday Funnies - Arrest Mistake

It's time once again for Friday Funnies, hosted by Kim at Homesteaders Heart. Need a laugh today? Pop on over to her blog to read more.

Arrest Mistake

A man is being tailgated by a stressed-out woman on a busy boulevard. Suddenly the light turns yellow just in front of him. He does the right thing and stops at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.

The tailgating woman hits the roof, and the horn, screaming in frustration as she misses her chance to get through the intersection with him. As she is still in mid-rant, she hears a tap on her window and looks up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer orders her to exit her car with her hands up. He takes her to the police station where she is searched, fingerprinted, photographed, and placed in a cell.

After a couple of hours, a policeman approaches the cell and opens the door. She is escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer is waiting with her personal effects. He says, "I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping the guy off in front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him." "I noticed the "Choose Life" license plate holder, the "What Would Jesus Do" bumper sticker, the "Follow Me to Sunday School" bumper sticker, and the chrome plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk."

He paused and then stated, "Naturally I assumed you had stolen the car."

Might I add to this that people are watching. If you proclaim it, you'd better live it too!

Friday Funnies - Dead Politicians

Linking up again this week with Kim over at Homesteader's Heart. Feel free to hope over there to get a good laugh! I just got this one and thought it would be perfect for today's post. Enjoy!


Dead Politicians


A bus of politicians is driving by a farm where a man lives alone. The bus driver, caught up in the beautiful scenery, loses control and crashes into the ditch. The man comes out and finding the politicians, buries them.


The next day, the police are at the farm questioning the man. "So you buried all the politicians?" asked the police officer. "Were they all dead?"


The man answered, "Some said they weren't, but you know how politicians lie."

Friday Funnies - Never Be Late

Today I'm linking up with Kim at Homesteader's Heart. Head on over there for more Friday Funnies!

Never Be Late

A local priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner. However, he was delayed so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited: "I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it. He had also stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his employer, had an affair with his best friend's wife, and taken illicit drugs. I was appalled. "But as the days went on I learned that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people."

Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies for being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and said: "I'll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived. In fact, I had the honor of being the first person to go to him for confession."

Moral: Never, never, NEVER-EVER be late.

The Mom Song

Have you ever seen this? I saved it in my e-mail because I'm crazy like that and every once in a while I go back and flip through the funny stuff I've saved if I want a laugh. I came across this one tonight and thought it would make a great Friday Funnies post, even though Friday is almost over here in my neck of the woods. Hope you enjoy it and crack up as much as I did!

I especially like the part that says "Stop crying before I give you something to cry about." I've only said that a handful of times, but I remember my mom saying it to me, which must mean I cried way too much as a kid!

I'm linking up today with Kim at Homesteader's Heart. Check out her blog to read more great Friday Funnies. (Sorry Kim, I looked for the meme button but couldn't find it)

Wow! It Finally Happened...

This was recently e-mailed to me and I cracked up at it so I thought I'd share it:

And you thought it would never happen! That's what happens when God is in control!
Luke 1:37

The Cross

This forward was sent to me a few years ago and I've saved it all this time to look at every once in a while. I hope I don't get in trouble for posting it here, because I don't know who drew it and I would definitely give credit where credit is due if I did know. Enjoy it, think about it, be uplifted by it!

Awesome!! We complain about the cross we bear but don't realize it is preparing us for the dip in the road that God can see and we cannot.Whatever your cross, whatever your pain, there will always be sunshine, after the rain.... Perhaps you may stumble, perhaps even fall; But God's always ready, to answer your call.... He knows every heartache, sees every tear, a word from His lips, can calm every fear... Your sorrows may linger, throughout the night, But suddenly vanish, dawn's early light.... The Savior is waiting, somewhere above, to give you His grace, and send you His love.

How to Stop Church Gossip

This is a forward I thought was worth sharing. It's pretty funny but also thought provoking. I hope you enjoy it!

Mildred, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church's morals,
kept sticking her nose into other people's business....

Several members did not approve of her extra curricular activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence. She made a mistake, however, when she accused Frank, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the town's only bar one after noon.

She emphatically told Frank (and several others) that every one seeing it There WOULD KNOW WHAT HE WAS DOING ! Frank, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just turned and walked away.
He didn't explain, defend, or deny. He said nothing....

Later that evening, Frank quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred's house ..... walked home . . .and left it there all night!!!

(You gotta love Frank!)

Powerful Skit

I had originally saved this on my e-mail when it was sent to me a few years ago. I stumbled upon it again when I was doing one of my random, "Why do I save all these e-mails" reviews. It almost made me cry...again. Our church youth group actually did this skit a few days before it was e-mailed to me. I thought it was so good that I would post it here for all to see.

Common Sense

This was a forward I received a month or so ago and I really liked it cuz' it's so true so I decided to post it. It's an obituary supposedly posted in the London Times.

Common Sense

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: - Knowing when to come in out of the rain; - Why the early bird gets the worm; - Life isn't always fair; - and maybe it was my fault. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses, and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason. He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers - I Know My Rights, I Want It Now, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.